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How To Balance
Your Work, Family and
Social Life:
10 Tips on Personal Productivity and Time Management
By Gene
Griessman, Ph.D.
Author of TIME TACTICS OF VERY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
Editor-in-Chief THE ACHIEVEMENT DIGEST www.achievementdigest.com
Many of us have an image of personal balance as a set of scales in perfect
balance every day. But that’s an unrealistic goal. You are in for a lot of
frustration if you try to allocate within every day a predetermined
portion of time for work, family and your social life. An illness may
upset all your plans. A business project may demand peaks of intense work,
followed by valleys of slow time.
Balance requires continual adjustments, like an acrobat on a high wire who
constantly shifts his weight to the right and to the left. By focusing on
four main areas of your life – emotional/spiritual needs, relationships,
intellectual needs and physical needs – at work and away from work, you
can begin to walk the high wire safely.
Here, drawn from my conversations with many high successful Americans, are
ten ideas for balancing all aspects of your life:
1.
Make
an appointment with yourself.
Banish from your mind the idea that everyone takes precedence over you.
Don’t use your organizer or calendar just for appointments with others.
Give yourself some prime time. Regularly do something you enjoy. It will
recharge your batteries. Once you’ve put yourself on your calendar, guard
those appointments. Kay Koplovitz founder of the
USA cable television
network, which is on the air 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a
year. Koplovitz ran the daily operations of the network for 21 years. For
more than two decades, there was always some potential claim on her time.
Therefore she vigilantly protected a scheduled tennis match just as she
would a business appointment.
2.
Care
for your body.
Having a high energy level is a trait held by many highly successful
people. No matter what your present level of energy, you can increase it
by following these steps:
Eat.
Don’t skip meals. Your physical and mental energy depend upon nourishment.
Irregular eating patterns can cause a frayed temper, depression, lack of
creativity and a nervous stomach.
Exercise.
Over and over again, highly successful people mention the benefit of
exercise routines. Johnetta Cole, president of
Bennett
College
for Women and former president of Spelman College, does a four-mile walk
each morning. She calls it her mobile meditation. The benefits of exercise
are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. If you are healthier and
have more stamina, you can work better and longer.
Rest.
A psychologist who has studied creative people reports that they rest
often and sleep a lot.
3.
Cut
some slack.
You do not have to do everything. Just the right things. Publisher Steve
Forbes taught me a lesson: “Don’t be a slave to your in-box. Just because
there’s something there doesn’t mean you have to do it.” As a result,
every evening, I extract from my long list to-do list just a few “musts”
for the following day. If, but
three o’clock the next
day, I’ve crossed off all the “musts,” I know that everything else I do
that day will be icing on the cake. It is a great psychological plus for
me.
There is nothing wrong
with pushing yourself hard, disciplining yourself to
do what needs to be
done when you hold yourself to the highest standards. That builds up
stamina and turns you into a pro. At time, though, you must forgive
yourself. You will never become 100 percent efficient, nor should you
expect to be. After something does not work, ask yourself, “Did I do my
best? If you did, accept the outcome. All you can do is all you can do.
4.
Blur
the boundaries.
Some very successful people achieve balance by setting aside times or days
for family, recreation, hobbies or the like. They create boundaries around
certain activities and protect them. Other individuals who are just as
successful do just the opposite. They blur the boundaries. Says consultant
Alan Weiss, “I work out of my home. In the afternoon, I might be watching
my kids play at the pool or be out with my wife. On Saturday, or at
ten o’clock on a
weeknight, I might be working. I do things when the spirit moves me, and
when they’re appropriate.”
Some jobs don’t lend
themselves to this strategy. But blurring the boundaries is possible more
often than you may think. One way is to involve people you care about in
what you do. For example, many companies encourage employees to bring
their spouses to conferences and annual meetings. It’s a good idea. If
people who mean a great deal to you understand what you do, they can share
more fully in your successes and failures. They also are more likely to be
a good sounding board for your ideas.
5.
Take
a break.
Many therapists believe that taking a break from a work routine can have
major benefits for mental and physical health. Professional speaker and
executive coach Barbara Pagano practices a kind of quick charge, by
scheduling a day every few months with no agenda. For her, that means
staying in her pajamas, unplugging the phone, watching old movie or
reading a novel in bed. For that one day, nothing happens, except what she
decides from hour to hour. Adds singer and composer Billy Joel, “There are
times when you need to let the field lie fallow.” Joel is describing what
farmers often do: let a plot rest so the soil can replenish itself.
6.
Take
the road less traveled.
Occasionally, get off the expressway and take a side road, literally and
figuratively. That road may take you to the library or to the golf course.
Do something out of the ordinary to avoid the well-worn grooves of your
life. Try a new route to work, a different radio station or a different
cereal. Break out of your old mold occasionally, with a new way to dress
or a different hobby. The road less traveled can be a reward after a
demanding event, a carrot that you reward your self with or it can be a
good way to loosen up before a big event. Bobby Dodd, the legendary
football coach at Georgia Tech, knew the power of this concept. While
other coaches were putting their teams through brutal twice-a-day
practices, Dodd’s team did their drills and practices, but then took time
to relax, play touch football and enjoy the bowl sites. Did the idea work?
In six straight championships games!
7.
Be
still.
Susan Taylor, editorial director of Essence, sees to it that she
has quiet time every morning. She regards it as a time for centering – for
being still and listening. She keeps a paper and pen with her to jot down
ideas that come to her. The way you use solitary time should match your
values, beliefs and temperament. Some individuals devote a regular time
each day to visualize themselves attaining their goals and dreams. Others
read, pray, meditate, do yoga or just contemplate a sunrise or sunset.
Whatever form it takes, time spent alone can have an enormous payoff.
Achievers talk about an inner strength they find and how it helps them put
competing demands into perspective. They feel more confident about their
choices and more self-reliant. They discover a sense of balance, a
centeredness.
8.
Be a
peacetime patriot.
Joe Posner has achieved wealth and recognition selling life insurance.
Several years ago, Posner helped form an organization in his hometown of
Rochester,
NY
to prepare underprivileged children for school and life and, he hopes,
break the poverty cycle. You may find some equally worthy way to give
something back through your church, hospital, civic club, alumni
association or by doing some pro bono work. Or you may help
individuals privately, even anonymously. There are powerful rewards for
balancing personal interests with the needs of the common good. One of the
most wonderful is the sheer joy that can come from giving. Another reward
is the better world that you help create.
9.
Do
what you love to do.
As a boy, Aaron Copeland spent hours listening to his sister practice the
piano because he loved music. By following that love, he became
America’s
most famous composer of classical must. When I asked him years later if he
had even been disappointed by that choice Copeland replied, “My life has
been enchanting.” What a word to sum up a life. By itself, loving what you
do does not ensure success. You need to be good at what you love. But if
you love what you do, the time you spend becoming competent is less likely
to be drudgery.
10.
Focus
on strategy.
As important as it is, how to save time for balancing your life is not the
ultimate question. That question is, “What am I saving time for?” Strategy
has to do with being successful – but successful at what? If others pay
your salary, being strategic generally means convincing them that you are
spending your time in a way that benefits them. If there is a dispute over
how you should use your time, either convince the people who can reward or
punish you that your idea about using time is appropriate, or look for
another job. The “what for?” question should also be asked about the life
you live. It is truly a comprehensive question and gets at the question of
wholeness
So what makes for a
successful balance life? I can think of no better definition than the one
given by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
To laugh often
and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of
children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the
betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in
others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a
garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has
breathed easier because I have lived. This is to have succeeded.
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